I feel like this everyday. Even when my bf goes out while im at work
I’m that girl who forgives everyone who gets mad at me. I’m that girl who cares way too much about what people think of her. I’m that girl who fears being alone. I’m that girl who is scared of growing up. I’m that girl who acts like I’m tough when really, I feel like crying. I’m that girl who says yes to everything, because I hate disappointing people. I’m that girl who tries to be nice to everyone then gets taken advantage of. I’m that girl who doesn’t care if it’s a million dollars or a homemade card as long as you thought of me. I’m that girl who tries to express how she feels, but just can’t find the words. I’m that girl who everyone thinks they know, but they don’t.
I wanna let you know that Its ok to be all of these things. Ive gone through a lot and honestly couldnt stand to look in the mirror. I use to cry myself to sleep everynight. I was the girl that cut herself evryday but was honestly ashamed when anyone noticed. When I was from the ages of 4-11 I did almost every drug except heroine. When I was 12 A SWAT team pointed 3 m16s at me and 4 pistols. I watched my family one by one go to prison and I was ashamed of who I was and what I may someday be. I punched walls everyday and broke my knuckles a lot. But Im proud to say, I havent cut myself in 1 and a half years, Im proud of who I am now and Im working on the things I dont approve of.
I guess my point is… I hid behind a smile and nobody knew who depressed I really was, its ok to feel this way. Itll be better someday although I know its hard to believe.
